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Gestures Of Indifference

by eve massacre

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1.
2.
infused. confused. accused. amused. i just have one request: for just a little while, could someone turn me off? i need a break. switch me off or i will break. switch me off. infused. confused. accused . amused. now it's too late for reversal, this is the moment of youth. we're gathered here for a rehearsal that's been cancelled long ago. delusions make it much easier for other wolves to track us down. my delusions are too contagious, no chance for the healers, no chance for the healers, no, thanks, no... no cure for the shy division. all coy, no, we don't complain. our circumcision of hearts failed, we won't go down the golden drain. i just have one request for just a little white, hey, could someone turn me off? i need a break. switch me off or i will break. switch me off. our lips are glued together and our fingertips are deep inside. there's a wish we told each other but our necks are wet of someone else's kiss. our eyes: they sing: 'trust me', 'trust you'. our lips: they glow. our lips are glued. i'd like to know what this glue is made of, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please... break. switch me off or i will break. switch me off.
3.
hey you, uptight and cruel show us what to do makes us break up, make us move on, move on... over and over i get into this fatiguing fight: (fight sense) if it makes sense to go on why does it feel more like closing in on night than like at least a hint of dawn? (feel least) i'm sorry, miss jekyll, what about a last caress? you got what...? something? i got something to say: i'll kill miss jekyll today! am i for real? over.. it's over... over and over i get into this fatiguing fight: if it makes sense to go on why does it feel more like closing in on night than like at least a hint of dawn? (méfiez-vous!)
4.
we are suicidal robots melting away suicidal robots melted down slowly why should we stay sober now? it's such a scarry scarry night out there! a polygendered shadow curled around our neck a shudder running through us, making muscles flex we are homo faber now. where's your light sabre, luke, when i get scared thinking about my teeth? of me thinking teeth into milky flesh of you sellig teeth to whoever pays in cash. exlusion. exclusive. exclusion. dripping down my chin, dripping down my thighs just one word and i might include you. princess layer, prince's slayer, somehow it all goes down. might include you. or might not. i might ink lube you. or might not.
5.
A.C.A.B. 03:51
tombstone, tombstone, tell me why he is resistant to time? he grows under my skin i've gotta cut him out i'm gonna cut him out force him out oh, will the bleeding ever stop? tombstone, tombstone, hide him well don't let him crawl out again though i haven't been here for thirteen years now tombstone, be my friend you're my dearest friend
6.
he said, i'm written, i'm some story being told i'm 300 years old though my face doesn't tell. i smoked cigars with george sand, made her cheat on chopin. crossdressing scandals were ours we whispered poems at night i shouted slogans at noon with louise michel i screamed with emma goldman: "when we can't dream any longer we die!" and "if i can't dance i don't want to be part of your revolution!" i accompanied bachmann, burning her bio and malina. at a hospital in mexico i held hands with frida kahlo reinventing ourselves teaming up with theda bara: "the face of a vampire, but he heart... the heart of a feminista!" i dream of letting no one write my history but me i dream of making this life a story to get drunk on a story to fall in love with isn't it mine? isn't it mine...?
7.
(words by Emily McAvan) it hurts like a nipple or nose piercing etched onto my skin like tattooed teardrops in the shower drops of dried blood run off, the sting of flesh. and this is no thing to confess, so I'll wear my jacket pulled over until I heal again
8.
wipe out what is the opposite of doubt? within is the opposite of without we only feel safe in a crowd oh, to shout! we train our skills in gestures of indifference we'd rather swallow our tongues than laugh out loud
9.
Get Lost 01:46
excuse me chose me lose me cruise me cruise me booze me help me to lose myself how did you say you do? going out with me is killing you? you make me forget how i feel please go! life's not a bitch but a lecherous male dog trying to bite at your private parts i said: please go i got enough wounds to show off lose me lose me helped me to lose myself use me use you good news: get lost! get lost
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about

written, played, sung, recorded and produced by eve massacre
keplar records

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released October 10, 2004

(One of the most important things about music is communicaton or some kind of interaction. When I took the step from being part of a band to going solo I expected to feel isolated. It took me a while to realize and appreciate how the music still is connected with other people's inspiring ideas. I'd like to thank everybody who encouraged me, and especially Martin Müller for doing all the graphics for this album and Don, Ian and Josh for their musical contribution / remixes, and Emily* for sharing her "Hesitation Cuts" poem. Thanks to Ckid formaking the world of music software feel less deterrend to an indiepunk person like me, and a big thanks to Cris Unmono for transforming our music for playing live.

The weird thing is that the songs on ths album feel less like "my" songs than what I wrote with a band. I don't feel like I "made" those tracks. Its more like being some weird kind of wildly communicating, filtering, rearranging, gasping, trying, recontextualizing interface between everything around me and those songs. The result then feels strangely intimate and essential to me. this music is me staking out a position in a world that trains us so well in gestures of indifference. Oh - and it's about having fun.)

october 2004

* the original liner notes still have her deadname Michael but I'm happy for her that she since has come out so I have changed this at least in this digital version of the album.

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